Life has been good but there will always be glitches because it's not perfect.

At this stage, my main focus is to study and pass my exam in June! Felt stuck at this moment, there's so much to do but so little time and it's already may!

Been having 'moments' of 'thinkings' about it's already into May now and what have i accomplished, what have i done? It could be the 'quarter-of-a-century-crisis'..;) Dont get me wrong, I'm not depressed or anything, probably 'impatient' to accomplish things i desire to do. Again and again i was reminded to stay still and be patient, there will be season for everything. Little everyday stuffs are important too, the people around you, the words you say, your actions, your daily choices, your daily experiences.

Everyday working in the pharmacy, i see people from every walks of life. Funny how different all of them are. Some are exceptionally nice and some overly grumpy, some dodgy, some obviously druggy, foreigners. I do get tired and be nice to customers sometimes because dealing with people is hard, some people! THe complaints, the requests! Sometimes i just want to strangle some customers and also, to slap some of them to wake up, stop smoking, stop drinking so much coke that you have diabetes or other health problems and then spend huge amount of money trying to fix the problem. And sometimmes, i'm numb and think oh well, it's your choice, ill just do my part give u medications, whatever! It's exhausting. Again and again i was corrected. I talked to some customers, they told me about their life stories and then i can see why they act the way they do. Do not judge because i dont know where they come from and their experiences that influenced them. THe thing is, i know all these theoretically but after a while i get exhausted and just go into that 'whatever' mode. Where is the love? (black eyed peas only..hahaha) yes, we have the love for people but it is not without limit. everyday i have to spend time with God to restore myself and be filled with His love and then start loving other people with the love He poured out to me. It is hard and still learning. Hard to get up in the morning especially the 8 am shift. Then spend time with God after work, which is no point..cos i need Him to go through my day. The days that i spend quality time with Him, i find that the love comes more naturally, i see them as a person with a story. And every stories are so uniquely different and are definitions of who they are now. yes, arguments of complaints can be dampened just by showing genuine understanding and positive response. the supernatural love is powerful and it comes from God.

There's this young lady, who told me about her partner who abused her with words and physically. Her best fren called the police because she cant stand it anymore, watching the whole thing. He got arrested and was released. Now threatening her to go back to him. Thank God she's staying with a group of good friends who support her. She couldnt work and just feel withdrawn, yet her heart is crying out for help. I suggested her to go for counselling, drugs cant fix this, the mental side of things had to be dealt with first. She said she felt guilty which she knows she shouldnt. We talked and i offered her to come back to the pharmacy if she feels like having a chat.

After that, i was like..wow, this is not just a job, i'm not that passionate about pharmacy but i'm in the midst of the community. Opportunities are everywhere. I must learn when to grab it. Wisdom, being genuine and discernment can be asked through prayer. So that and other things led me to the answers for my 'thinking' at the moment..I may not have done anything big or achieve any history-making events through the eyes of the world or myself, but it's never too late to start now and dont underestimate little things. Life is complicated yes but with God in the picture, i can be rest-assured that whatever happens will be for my good in the big picture and that applies to everyone else who choose to include God in their daily lives. And, along the way, it is okay to be honest when talking to God telling Him that i cant do it!! I wanna give up!! THis is too hard...etc etc..lots and lots of others...because He is our friend and will be able to lead us back onto the right track again...